Bog Bandits

We have been away from home for quite a while now, and although we are a pretty well behaved bunch, foreigners have a knack of getting in trouble with the law away from home. I didn't think this would be us. I guess even the strong can fall. Imagine the scene, it's late at night, you've just arrived in a new town, and you need the toilet. Now none of the public toilets are open at this time, but we spotted a sign for a caravan park and didn't think it would be too much hassle if we just popped in and used the toilets. So Nic and I park the van up outside the park, all the lights are off everywhere so we thought we would sneakily get in and get out without causing any bother. So apres toilet useage, we are commenting on the excellent hand soap, and we leave the toilets. As we leave we see a torch being shined around the kitchen area of the park and so we make a bolt for it thinking that this light is after us. Sure as anything I get a torch shone in my face and a shouted of 'OI!', I look around and Nic has scarpered (nice solidarity there) and so I try and make another run for it, guessing that the gruffness of the 'oi' rendered him too fat to chase me. Well I find Nic behind some building and she just says to not bother running. So we confront the man, as I guessed a fat hairy man from Northern England who wanted our blood. We explained our situation that we needed the toilet and thought it wouldn't bother anyone, and thought we would be on our way. Oh no, he gets out his phone and then proclaims that he is taking our photo and sending it to the police! Nic was totally gobsmacked and pretty much told the bloke where to go. He didn't like that and also told me to 'wipe the smirk off your face'! So we're there, in the rain, late at night, arguing that he was going to call the police, because we used the toilets. The guy wouldn't budge but I tried taking the sympathetic route and just said sorry and asked him to see it from our perspective. That was met with more talk of police. By that point Nic and I had both had enough and just started kindly explaining to the delightful man that he was, in fact, a complete idiot. So after a while he gave up and we were told to 'clear off'. Never would I have thought that using the loo would have been such an issue!